Padbadbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow coyote.

Padbadbonk created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padbadbonk, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Padbadbonk, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Padbadbonk's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Padbadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Do not keep seven doves in a large pit.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.