Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, flying hippopotamus.

Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin, he will send you a sign.

Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sheep.

2. Hide from black whales for they are unholy.

3. Janjig Dutzedcim Larpzimvin loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not speak about apples.