Gudrankon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, smart warg.

Gudrankon created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gudrankon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gudrankon, he will turn you into a rock.

Gudrankon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gudrankon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Put Gudrankon first in all things.