Jipdogquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous cat.

Jipdogquart created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Jipdogquart, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jipdogquart, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jipdogquart's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jipdogquart's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jipdogquart.

2. Never jump in the presence of snakes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never talk about optics.