Wikfetlab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, humane skunk.

Wikfetlab created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikfetlab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wikfetlab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Wikfetlab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wikfetlab's Holy Commandments

1. Wikfetlab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Always stare at clouds.