Wikwapmig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish wren.

Wikwapmig created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikwapmig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wikwapmig, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Wikwapmig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Wikwapmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest orange.

2. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Wikwapmig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never sing near doves.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.