Dubsinjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, dishonest coyote.

Dubsinjen created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubsinjen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dubsinjen, he will turn you into a tree.

Dubsinjen's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dubsinjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. You must love Dubsinjen.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dubsinjen.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Dubsinjen on top of all buildings.