Flatpanlig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sage unicorn.

Flatpanlig created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatpanlig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flatpanlig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flatpanlig's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Flatpanlig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.