Dotrotfud Tomnarlgub is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, staggering crane.

Dotrotfud Tomnarlgub created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotrotfud Tomnarlgub, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dotrotfud Tomnarlgub, she will turn you into a mole.

Dotrotfud Tomnarlgub's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dotrotfud Tomnarlgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Never feed rice to aardvarks while wearing brown boots.