Safcitcitbot is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, clever giraffe.

Safcitcitbot created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safcitcitbot, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Safcitcitbot, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Safcitcitbot's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Safcitcitbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three foxes in a large pit.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Safcitcitbot.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Learn five new languages a year.