Jandib is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, calm mink.

Jandib created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jandib, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jandib, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jandib's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jandib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near snails while wearing pink jumpers and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never wear skirts.