Jarnnegnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sapient alligator.

Jarnnegnurl created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnnegnurl, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarnnegnurl, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jarnnegnurl's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Jarnnegnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange gulls, for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing green coats.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Never talk about special relativity near cats while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.