Dogfossjan Arthonont is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, merciless snail.

Dogfossjan Arthonont created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Dogfossjan Arthonont, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dogfossjan Arthonont, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dogfossjan Arthonont's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dogfossjan Arthonont's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing indigo rings and balancing six carbon spheres on your face.