Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta badgers for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gumbutdutgidmilbemloopcut Bon.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Never look in ponds.