Labtamdud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, competent cow.

Labtamdud created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labtamdud, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Labtamdud, she will be very sad.

Labtamdud's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Labtamdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must love Labtamdud.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never talk about fire.