Gidwigvan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless hare.

Gidwigvan created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidwigvan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gidwigvan, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gidwigvan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gidwigvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Do not take Gidwigvan's name in vain.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.