Centeen is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unfair hamster.

Centeen created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Centeen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Centeen, he will turn you into a slug.

Centeen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Centeen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing brown skirts and balancing three copper spheres on your feet.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

5. Centeen must be the most important thing in your life.