Fodmitfutlopmadshav is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful raven.

Fodmitfutlopmadshav created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodmitfutlopmadshav, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fodmitfutlopmadshav, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fodmitfutlopmadshav's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fodmitfutlopmadshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near aardvarks while wearing white shorts and balancing five gold spheres on your chest.

4. Never sprint in the presence of birds.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Fodmitfutlopmadshav on top of all buildings.