Konbafarf Cumdumlog Mif is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, competent manatee.

Konbafarf Cumdumlog Mif created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Konbafarf Cumdumlog Mif, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Konbafarf Cumdumlog Mif, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Konbafarf Cumdumlog Mif's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Konbafarf Cumdumlog Mif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

4. Always look after injured seals.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.