Benmapkem is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous butterfly.

Benmapkem created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benmapkem, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Benmapkem, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Benmapkem's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Benmapkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

3. Never paint your neck red.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never go into white rooms.