Habbambed is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, vain dingo.

Habbambed created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Habbambed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Habbambed, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Habbambed's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Habbambed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Always look after injured whales.