Fumnakarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, compassionate squid.

Fumnakarn created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fumnakarn, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fumnakarn, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fumnakarn's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fumnakarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Fumnakarn in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think ill of sick mites.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.