Botdam Baftonpib is a god.

She takes the form of a large, caring goose.

Botdam Baftonpib created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botdam Baftonpib, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Botdam Baftonpib, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Botdam Baftonpib's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Botdam Baftonpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise boots.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near ants while wearing cyan corsets and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never feed gooseberries to geese while wearing black hats.

5. Do not kill rats.