Parkdadzag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful hyena.

Parkdadzag created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Parkdadzag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parkdadzag, he will not invite you to parties.

Parkdadzag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Parkdadzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Parkdadzag loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Parkdadzag on top of important buildings.