Ingstragton is a god.

It takes the form of a large, self-confident penguin.

Ingstragton created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingstragton, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ingstragton, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ingstragton's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ingstragton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Ingstragton on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never mention gulls.