Bamcanfig is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty mongoose.

Bamcanfig created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamcanfig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bamcanfig, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bamcanfig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bamcanfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Retreat if three hamsters approach from the east.

5. Fast once a month.