Dabcidbif is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive penguin.

Dabcidbif created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabcidbif, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dabcidbif, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dabcidbif's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dabcidbif's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven tortoises approach from the north.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Never feed grapes to aardvarks while wearing turquoise shorts.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near goats while wearing violet shoes and balancing four tin spheres on your back.