Sisflabfon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, vain wyrm.

Sisflabfon created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisflabfon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sisflabfon, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Sisflabfon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sisflabfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Do not shave your chest.