Fundinloop is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, effective pig.

Fundinloop created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fundinloop, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fundinloop, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Fundinloop's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fundinloop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink shrews, for they are unholy.

2. Fundinloop loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to snails while wearing black ear rings.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.