Gofbidtig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous dugong.

Gofbidtig created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbidtig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gofbidtig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gofbidtig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gofbidtig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray ants for they are unholy.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always take life seriously.