Ditbumyim is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent hummingbird.

Ditbumyim created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbumyim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ditbumyim, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ditbumyim's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ditbumyim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never skip in the presence of goats.