Japwapjanquagbosscinomt is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, narcissistic deer.

Japwapjanquagbosscinomt created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japwapjanquagbosscinomt, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Japwapjanquagbosscinomt, it will have a low opinion of you.

Japwapjanquagbosscinomt's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Japwapjanquagbosscinomt's Holy Commandments

1. Put Japwapjanquagbosscinomt first in all things.

2. Always look after injured seals.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near whales while wearing red rings and balancing five silver spheres on your back.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never sing near rats.