Stanhomlab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, emotional swan.

Stanhomlab created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanhomlab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Stanhomlab, she will remove you from existence.

Stanhomlab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Stanhomlab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never leap in the presence of whales.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Stanhomlab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed gooseberries to ants while wearing scarves.