Bigbest is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane tortoise.

Bigbest created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigbest, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bigbest, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bigbest's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bigbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Bigbest loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.