Fempopkap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sage pigeon.

Fempopkap created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fempopkap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fempopkap, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fempopkap's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Fempopkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Fempopkap on top of important buildings.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.