Bonkoming is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental bee.

Bonkoming created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkoming, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonkoming, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bonkoming's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bonkoming's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near turtles.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Bonkoming in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear green tights.