Sakbassfid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, flying elephant.

Sakbassfid created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Sakbassfid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sakbassfid, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Sakbassfid's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Sakbassfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to tortoises while wearing ear rings.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Sakbassfid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Sakbassfid loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help pigs in need.