Lidquartjop is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, sage fly.

Lidquartjop created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidquartjop, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lidquartjop, it will turn you into a puffin.

Lidquartjop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lidquartjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never talk about gravity near ducks while wearing black hats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.