Sispopmot is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish dragon.

Sispopmot created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sispopmot, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sispopmot, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sispopmot's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Sispopmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sispopmot.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near sheep while wearing red jumpers.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.