Venmetced is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-assured bear.

Venmetced created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Venmetced, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Venmetced, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Venmetced's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Venmetced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide from purple grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.