Mabjopvag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, humorless raccoon.

Mabjopvag created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabjopvag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mabjopvag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Mabjopvag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Mabjopvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mabjopvag.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mabjopvag.