Gonpassat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish bear.

Gonpassat created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonpassat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonpassat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gonpassat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gonpassat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never talk about grasshopers.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always stare at clouds.