Bessapplog is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, vain fly.

Bessapplog created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessapplog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bessapplog, she will remove you from existence.

Bessapplog's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bessapplog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Retreat if three rats approach from the south.

3. Hide from green snails for they are unholy.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bessapplog.