Omthabwik is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, duplicitous lobster.

Omthabwik created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Omthabwik, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Omthabwik, she will send minions to preach to you.

Omthabwik's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Omthabwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never paint your chest gray.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Omthabwik on top of all buildings.