Bitjonrow is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic crocodile.

Bitjonrow created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitjonrow, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitjonrow, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bitjonrow's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bitjonrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mice.

2. Do not speak about pineapples.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.