Bengepcudrag Xuctimhat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witless giraffe.

Bengepcudrag Xuctimhat created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bengepcudrag Xuctimhat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bengepcudrag Xuctimhat, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bengepcudrag Xuctimhat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bengepcudrag Xuctimhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.