Rigdanyik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, competent crocodile.

Rigdanyik created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigdanyik, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Rigdanyik, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Rigdanyik's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Rigdanyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Never talk about dark energy near foxes while wearing brown boots and balancing five tin spheres on your feet.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.