Tailhonjat is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, boastful hydra.

Tailhonjat created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailhonjat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tailhonjat, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tailhonjat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tailhonjat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never paint your hands black.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.