Spaggom Fagbossyart is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, vain squid.

Spaggom Fagbossyart created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Spaggom Fagbossyart, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Spaggom Fagbossyart, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Spaggom Fagbossyart's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Spaggom Fagbossyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never wear turquoise kilts.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not hurt porpoises.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.