Kenfutxem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental frog.

Kenfutxem created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenfutxem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kenfutxem, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kenfutxem's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kenfutxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt nematodes.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Do not speak about beans.

4. Never talk about dark energy near badgers while wearing green skirts.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.