Cundittagratlarpfutkon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented lobster.

Cundittagratlarpfutkon created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Cundittagratlarpfutkon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cundittagratlarpfutkon, it will turn you into a plant.

Cundittagratlarpfutkon's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cundittagratlarpfutkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never think about dark matter near bats while wearing white boots and balancing three silver spheres on your neck.